To Text Or Not To Text, That Is The Question...

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again. Whatever happened to one on one conversation? Even if they’re on the phone, there’s nothing better than directly interacting with the person you are communicating with. The meaning of your message can be conveyed and understood. The emotion behind your conversation can be felt. Text messages comprised of short phrases, run on sentences, numbers in place of words and letters does not give meaning to the underlying feeling behind the conversation. In many instances text messages can confuse the receiver as to what exactly you are trying to say. In this age of wireless this and social media that we have forgotten how to interact with each other in an intimate one on one setting. Technology has given rise to the basic art of communicating. It’s as if we have convinced ourselves that human interaction is not necessary for our emotional well being. Somehow we believe that we can fulfill that basic human need with a quick text, IM, facebook comment or even a quick e mail.   

I am trying to get out of the habit of letting text messages speak for me.  To no longer let text messages take the place of me putting forth an effort to touch and be touched by those I am trying to communicate with. To get back to the basics of looking someone in the eyes when I am speaking and listening to them. When you are speaking with someone face to face your filters are able to discern the bullshit from the truth. Many times we can be tricked by a savvy text messenger. However, when that same person is force to communicate one on one they fell miserably. They are no longer able to hide behind simple keystrokes.

So I would say the answer is to text when necessary, i.e. in a crowd or unknown company, but to call or make face to face interaction as much as possible. There is nothing more personable than one on one conversation.  

The Michelle C. Clark School For People Who Don't Read So Good....

Since Mayor Bings’ press conference I have asked the same question over and over again. How did we come to this? How did my beloved city come to be in financial ruins? Why did no one see this coming? What is the role of our finance manager? Why weren’t the citizens of  Detroit informed sooner how dire the situation was? Where is the leadership? The more I thought about it, the more questions I had. The  more questions I had that could not be answered the more frustrated I became.

Then it got me to thinking about two things, Detroit voting patterns and the cities illiteracy rate. As student of economic studies I am always looking at the correlation between two things, i.e. the cause and effect. How do things relate to one another, the parallelism, interdependence, interconnection, the interrelationship between two subjects and what effect if any they may have on one another.

There seems to be an obvious relationship between how voters select candidates for city government and the illiteracy rate. There has to be. This is the only thing that would explain our inability to elect competent leadership in our city. If your level of comprehension is hovering around the 4^th grade level how can you be expected to understand the complex issues that our city faces?  How can you see pass the smoke and mirrors to get to the meat of the issues our city faces? How do you know what questions to ask when you receive literature if you do not understand nor comprehend what you are reading?

I truly believe this is the reason that candidates win on name recognition alone. If your last name has been floating around the media for years because of your parents you can win votes. If you are seen on television a lot you can win. If your name is out here and visible, whether you have a platform or not you can win in the city of Detroit. They are far too many illiterate people voting for illiterate people. The cycle of ignorance manifests itself at the highest levels of city government.

I am not saying we should invoke some sort of competency exam for your right to vote. What I am saying is that we really need to look harder at ways to educate the citizens of Detroit on the issues, government and civic duty. There needs to be a grass root effort to make sure all citizens can read with comprehension. That every citizen that wants to be educated can be no matter what their age or social standing is. We have got to find ways to implement learning back into our community. We have to get serious about bring our citizens up to speed with the rest of the region. We need to educate people not only on issues the people of Detroit face, but statewide issues that affect Detroit citizens as well.

It was great that many of us voted for President Barak Obama, but as I’ve said before Governor Snyder and Mayor Bing will have more of a direct effect on your life than President Obama ever could. I once joked about starting the Michelle C. Clark School for People Who Don’t Read So Good, but now I am beginning to think it may be the very thing the city needs to get better leadership.

Meatless Mondays Is Not A Bad Word...

After recently viewing the documentary Food Inc., I heard something that I had never heard before. Something that I found amazing that in this day and age of anti big government that such a law would be on the books in quite a few states. It’s called the “Veggie Libel Law.” Yes, you heard me right the Veggie Libel Law. Approximately a dozen or so states have enacted food disparagement statutes that basically makes it libel for anyone to make negative comments about the food industry or the food supply.  It has been posited that food disparagement laws are the descendants of  “Criminal Sedition Laws”, which made it a crime to criticize public officials.

Critics who speak out against the food industry may be held civilly liable for claiming any perishable food product or commodity is unsafe for human consumption. Even if the speaker is proven to be right they are still burdened with the cost of fighting such a law suit.

Now these laws are being used by the powerful to silence its’ critics. Individual activists and small media outlets are particularly vulnerable to this law. Since they do not have deep pockets to fight huge agricultural businesses they suffer the most when going up against mammoth size companies. I think the most familiar example of this is when the Texas Beef Industry took talk show host Oprah Winfrey to court. It took her 6 years and well over a million dollars to fight and win against such a powerful industry . All she did was voice her own personal choice to not eat beef based on the facts presented on her show on how the meat industry handled cattle.

So I guess the question becomes how does the little guy protect themselves against big business? How can we ensure that we are feeding our families the best quality of food? My suggestion is to read the labels before you purchase, support your local farmers markets, start a garden and whenever possible find cattle ranchers in your area that raise cattle on grass, not corn. Educate yourselves on the ethical treatment of cattle before slaughter.

I’m giving real consideration to at least starting “Meatless Monday’s” in my household. It’s a small step in a healthier direction.

I Am Not Afraid...

Tonight I went out with a group of friends. We decided to drive out the suburbs to pacify one of our friends. He always drives to the city to hang out with us. So this time we decided to get dressed up and head out his way. The first stop was dinner at a very nice sports bar. The drinks were awesome. The food was yummy. The atmosphere was just what I needed. It was a mature swanky group of people. I felt at ease. I felt as if I were in the company of my peers. We then left from there and headed to another club of his choosing. I mean we were in his neighborhood after all.

The second stop of the night was a complete shock. This may sound bougie, but I knew the moment we pulled in the lot this was going to be a club full of kids by the lack of nice cars in the parking lot. As soon as we turned the corner there they were, people young enough to be my children. Yet, my friend seemed so excited. He was hyped about bringing us to this teeny bopper club. So it got me to thinking about aging. Why did the prospect of getting older seem to frighten so many people? It made me wonder why some people can age with grace and dignity and others fight it every step of the way like some sort of plague.

So of course the other 3 people in our 4 person posse began to challenge him on his choice of club. I mean, wasn’t there anything in his area for the over 40 crowd. Did I really have to listen to “Shots” all night long with him bouncing around like he had just dropped acid? What the hell was really going on? I felt trapped in a teenage night mare. All I needed was the wet dream to complete it. What would make a man over 40 want to hang out with 20 something’s. This was the kind of club that a girl would tell a guy she’s 21, but in all actuality she was only 15. Jail bait central.  Yet here I sat trying to have a good time. Trying not to spoil his fun, but it was no use. I’m a grown ass woman who likes to hang with other adults my age. I enjoy the company and conversation of people my age and older. People who talk in complete sentences. Who have interesting conversation to bring to the table. I want to be around people I have common interests with, i.e. a job, a home owner, children, a 401K. 

So after what would have seemed like eternity I called it a night. My sister told me I could blame it on her. Say that she was ready to leave. It was no use in lying. He could sense my uneasiness with our environment. So we said our good byes and headed back to the city. Where I am glad to know we have a myriad of night club options. I choose to hang out in spots where men and women over 40 meet to engage in intelligent conversation. I embrace getting older with all the grace and dignity one woman can muster. I don't feel I missed out on one thing in my 20's. I am not afraid of getting older...

Mayor Crusty Is A Real Clown...

I am pretty much convinced that if  I don’t stop watching local politics I’m going to stroke out. Now Mayor Crusty, I mean Mayor Dave Bing, wants the governor to appoint an Emergency Financial Manager to the City of Detroit. Further, he has stated that he wants to be said “EMF”. Is he serious? When an EMF is appointed the Mayor or School Board Superintendant is relieved of their duties. What is essentially being said is that you have done an awful job. We have no faith in your abilities to turn things around. You have neither vision , nor the creative fortitude to bring about change. So that being said what makes Mayor Bing think for one second the governor would appoint him?

I remember back in April of this year the Mayor held a news conference during the back and forth haggling of the budget process with the City Council. He said then under no uncertain terms would he support the appointment of  an EMF. He went on to say that an EMF would be devastating for the city. Also, during the same time period City Council wanted to make further cuts to the budget his office submitted. He told the public that those cuts were draconian and would greatly impact the quality of life for the citizens of Detroit. Now here he stands today wanting to do the very things that he said he was against. What gives?

The Mayor would have you believe that the public service unions are the problem behind the city finances. He has said over and over again that unions will not come to the bargaining table to make the necessary cuts. My question is how can you ask a city employee that makes only $24,000/ year to take another 10% cut in pay on top of  the 10% already taken?  How do you expect that same person to pay an additional 20% of their health care? He wants retirees on fixed incomes to take cuts to their pensions. Money they worked for and depended on in their golden years. Once again politicians are trying to solve the mismanagement of public dollars on the backs of the working class and seniors.

Why doesn’t the administration lead by example?  Let’s get rid of the countless appointees.  Let’s trim the city council down from a 9 member board to 5 members. Let them take a 25% cut on their office budget and a 20% pay cut. They could share staff like many other private sector business do.  No cars or security team should be needed for council. I mean really, who’s out to get Charles Pugh???

It seems odd that no one in executive management or any mayoral appointees have been asked to accept a cut in pay or participate in the Budget Reduction Furlough Days(BRF). I wonder why??? Mayor Bing is a rich man, why can’t he work for free? Show us his real dedication to the city.

We’ve sold every asset we have except the DWSD.  Is our Mayor sounding the final horn before he prostitutes our treasured jewel to the highest bidder?  Sadly the Mayor and City Council have no vision, creativity, fortitude or economic development sense to take the City of Detroit to world class status. It is unfortunate that we will forever be the joke of Southeastern Michigan.

I Can No Longer Identify The Enemy...

As I sit in front of my computer feelings of frustration seem to overwhelm me. That feeling of helplessness is nudging at my psyche. That hopelessness that wears you down and makes you feel as if nothing you say or do matters. I would have never thought in my lifetime that I would see the leaders of this country turn its’ back on the greatest generation ever….”The Baby Boomers.” Yet here I sit, with a blank stare on my face reading article after article on how the Congressional Supercommittee (6 democrats, 6 republicans) entrusted with eliminating $1.2 trillion from the federal deficit will do so on the backs of  the elderly.  Both sides have agreed to cut Social Security benefits by 3%. The most vulnerable citizens in our society will be forced to make lifestyle decisions that could include buying medicine instead of food. Yet nowhere in the conversation is there a mention of taxing Wall Street financial speculation. I think the hardest pill to swallow is that the very seniors they seek to cut to mediocrity have paid into this system their entire working adult lives.

According to Dean Baker…”The benefit cut is being justified by claiming that the current cost-of-living adjustment exceeds the true rate of inflation. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics index that measures the cost of living of the elderly indicates that the current adjustment understates the rate of inflation experienced by retirees. There should be no doubt, this is a proposal for cutting Social Security benefits; it has nothing to do with making the cost-of-living adjustments accurate.”

Nowhere in any proposal to cut the budget deficit, is there any mention of taxing Wall Street. Neither Democrat nor Republican on the supercommittee has made nary of a request to the Joint Taxing Committee (JTC) to consider taxing Wall Street financial speculations. You remember those risky investments that caused the housing bubble and the near collapse of our banking system.  The European Commission is currently fine tuning details to enact a Financial Speculation Tax (FST). It is thought that such a tax in the United States would generate revenues between 0.2 – 0.3% of the gross domestic product (GDP), which translates to roughly $30 - $40 billion dollars annually, that’s just taxing stock. If we add options, futures, credit default swaps, and other derivative instruments into the mix we could raise 3 to 4 times more revenue. Yet not one member of the congressional supercommittee has proposed scoring such a bill with the Joint Tax Committee.

It’s no wonder the 99% want to Occupy Wall Street and that only 9% of the country has a favorable approval rating for both houses of congress.  At one time I use to think the GOP was the enemy of the working class. I can no longer readily identify the enemy.

What Do You Mean You Couldn't Spend The Money????

Today has been yet another sad day in city government in Detroit. A $9.2 million dollar home weatherization grant has reverted back to the state because the leaders of Detroit did not spend the money in time. Approximately 5,000 families could have been helped with this federally funded grant.

“Also losing out were hundreds of unemployed Detroiters who had hoped to land jobs fixing windows, installing furnaces and repairing roofs as part of the federal weatherization program funded by economic stimulus money.”

I have been screaming all day about the incompetence and ineptness of our city leaders. Mayor Bing and his administration should be brought up on criminal charges for neglect of duty. Where is Kim Worthy when you really need her? It amazes me that the citizens of Detroit sit back and take this slap in the face from our elected and appointed leaders.  I find it astonishing that those entrusted with the task of helping the city’s poorest and most vulnerable citizens could not figure out how to spend the money.  The money forfeited by Detroit goes back to the state general fund to be redistributed to communities that have already received funding from this grant.

The city has been mired in federal investigations regarding grant money. $7 million in federal funds intended for the Head Start program had to be returned from allegations of misuse. They were unable to spend a $210,000 grant designed to help clothe and feed the poor. Instead they bought furniture for their offices.  1,000 requests for help from poor and low income citizens have been denied by the Department of Human Services. The city was originally awarded $33 million in federal stimulus money.

 So now the Michigan Community Action Agency Association, will sprint to distribute the money to as many homeowners as possible, MCAAA Director Jim Crisp said Monday. Once again showing the ineptness of city government to do its’ job.

Ursula Holland the director of Human Services Department has refused comment. I’ll bet she did.  What kind of asinine answer would she give the media for her inability to run her department.  A person charged with helping the poor does absolutely nothing for them. Fire them all. Let’s start over. How much worse could we actually do???

The Art Of Argument...

Over the last couple of days I have been giving a lot of thought to the Art of Arguing. I am particularly engaged in this thought process because of a really bad argument I had over the weekend with a really close friend. We had been squabbling back and forth for the past couple of days. I attribute it to the undue stress she placed on herself about an upcoming event. She might disagree. Nonetheless, we had been in heated battle for two days.

Now anyone who really knows me knows that I do not like to argue with people as a rule. I’ll even try to avoid arguments at all cost. However, if pushed to a certain point I am known to snap. This is what happened this past weekend. The verbal sparring, the insults and insinuations were ridiculous. Yet it got me to thinking about arguing with people you love. More importantly the Art of Arguing with people you love. I say Art, because of the quality, production, expression or realm according to the principles of argument.

There is a certain way that one should have disagreements with the people we love. Just because you are angry does not give you free range to say mean and hurtful things. Just because you do not agree with someone does not give you permission to call names. Bringing up past transgressions will not help your side of the argument, because the past is just that. The past. I firmly believe that when you are hurling insults and hurtful conversation to prove your point, the person with whom you are disagreeing ceases to listen. They are now only thinking about the next hurtful thing they are going to say to you. No points have been made. You’ve accomplished nothing.

When I find myself in heated disagreements with the people I love I try to think about what I’m going to say before I open my mouth. I am not looking for the most hurtful thing I can say to them, but the best way to get my point across without attacking them as a human being.  I want to be heard and understood without attacking your character. It is important to not let anger take you places that may be hard to come back from. Words cut deeper than you know. That’s why people say you should be careful how you speak to your children. You could scar them for life with ugly words.

So I say the next time you find yourself in a heated debate with a loved one, friend, coworker, etc., take a few seconds and count to ten before you utter that next sentence. You may save yourself a shit load of I’m sorry’s. 

You Won't Melt It's Just Water...

Yesterday our block club hosted its’ 1^st Annual Fall Harvest Festival Block Party. It started off as a simple conversation on the front porch of one of my neighbors. A desire to bring the block together sparked the conversation. There was a yearning to capture that nostalgia of years gone by. Many of my current neighbors are second generation home owners. They are now the owners of the homes they grew up. So they have a history with the block. They remember the times when Unity was like taking your next breath.

 They tell stories of block parties that spanned 3 city blocks. Memories of swim mobiles and  play mobiles took over the conversation. You could see the smile in the eyes of my neighbors as they reminisced about the past. Neighbors would drag their grills out on the streets, children rode their bikes in out of the burst of water from the fire hydrants and I’m sure Al Green was playing somewhere in the background.

So it was from a desire to give our children something we grew up on that got the ball rolling. We learned new hustles, ate yummy fish sandwiches, roasted marshmallows, carved pumpkins, face painting for everyone, a chili cook off, kids and adults alike in costumes. It was amazing to see so many people come out to support our 1^st event. I prayed for peace and good weather. God delivered. Not one problem and the sun came out after a few sprinkles. I had the privilege of talking with our elders. People who have lived on this block 58 years plus. To learn the history of this neighborhood proved more informative than any book I’ve read about Detroit.

The momentum is there. We are excited about what we were able to accomplish working together. So as we plan for our next meeting to discuss our upcoming bowling party I am confident that the neighbors who did not participate today will get involved in our next outing. The excitement is contagious…

Girl I Didn't Know You Liked Merlot...

It’s so funny how things always seem to work out for the greater good.  We are on the Eve of our 1^st Annual Fall Harvest Festival Block Party. Time is winding down. We are indeed in the final hours. Things at this point need to be taken care of.  Those who have committed themselves are accounted for. But for some strange reason one hold out neighbor has been on my mind. Now don’t get it twisted, one monkey won’t stop this Diva’s show, but for reasons only known to a higher authority this particular neighbors lack of involvement bothered me.

I love her children. When I see them I always make a point of speaking. Asking them how their day went. How’s school going? Are you being good? College plans? The usual questions any adult would put on a child when expressing concern. So it hurt my feelings when their mom ignored our knocks at the door for volunteers and contributions. I will admit that I was the block club member screaming outside her house that I knew she was in there and that it was some BULLSHIT she wasn’t answering the door. Not professional, but hey I grew up near Mack & Bewick, so decorum was not always required.  While I know that is no excuse for bad behavior, I couldn’t help myself. Anger has a way of taking you to the “LEFT”.

I spoke with other neighbors about my concerns. I got all kind of crazy responses. None of which made any kind of sense in what I deemed my logical mind. I see you all the time. We speak. We kick it. What’s holding you back??? I admit I got angry at first. We all want things to go our way. We all want people in alignment with our ideas. Those things we hold near and dear. The very things we think are right. Those beliefs we are certain everyone else shares….”NOT”. 

So after a long day of running around for the block party it was time to wind it down. I stepped in my neighborhood store for my favorite bottle of “Merlot” and who do I see??? Okay, you already know otherwise this blog entry would be a complete waste of time. However, my prideful mind told me to keep it moving. Grab what you came to get. Whatever program she’s running let her, but my spiritual being would not accept that. It just simply wouldn’t let me walk away. How could I when all my efforts are for the benefit for us all. Not just me and mine, but for you and yours. So when I saw her I said something. I ran up and threw my arms around her. I began to ask her how could she not want to fellowship with us?  How could she let such a momentous occasion take place without being involved? Of course I got all the stories, but I would not let it end that way.

Making sure to tell her I love her and her children. Letting her know that we need her and hers there, putting my pride aside I knew that was true. So I cannot say if she will show, if what I said will make a difference. But I’m hopeful, I’m positive. Ever the optimistic. Praying for good weather and praying for peace. I just have to believe she’ll be there and I will meet her right where she is…

You're Going To Put A Dent In My Mini Blinds...

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I say it takes a community for that child to survive. Today my block club wrapped up its’ final planning session for our 1^st Annual Fall Harvest Festival Block Party. I’m excited to see our block pull together for the benefit of us all.  The faithful 10 has met each week for the past two months to get what seemed an impossible effort off the ground.

I moved here 10 years ago when my marriage ended.  I came with two small children, favorite daughter, 8 and favorite son, 6.  Dazed, confused and not quite sure of my next move I began to find my way. I immersed myself in the kinships of my block.   They in turn embraced a single mother with two small children.   My neighbors looked out when I had to work overtime. They stepped up to babysit when I got accepted to the UAW-Ford Apprenticeship Program.  When I found myself working insane hours, crazy shifts and going to school, they stepped in with untold support.  The community wrapped its’ arms around us. They uplifted us.  That fairy tale ideology of community is what I found on my block. People joke when they come to visit me that it seems we all know each other. They marvel at the fact that we are indeed one big family that happens to be situated on one city block.  And to this I say we sure are.

That is why it is with great pride that I am able to work on our block party. The seniority block club members (30 plus years) tell me they haven’t had such an event since the late 70’s early 80’s.  The level of excitement is infectious. Although I would have liked for every neighbor on our 44 house block to participate I understand that you cannot have it all. So come Saturday we will break bread, karaoke, learn new hustles, bob for apples, challenge each other in our chili cook off challenge, slam dominoes, send people to Boston, make our books, toss rings on pumpkins, but most of all we will fellowship with our neighbors. We will get from behind the mini blinds and spend some one on one time getting to know each other once again. 

But I Don't Like Cats...

It's funny that I sit here in front of my computer pondering what I want to write about for my first actual blog.  My first thought went to politics and the role the United States has played over recent years on the world stage. Then I thought about hair care products. Being a black woman, my hair seems to always be at the forefront of everything I do. I thought about blogging about the latest fashion trends around the country with particular emphasis being placed on plus sized women, being that I am a woman with a little meat on my bones. However, none of those topics seem to jump out at me. The one thing that my mind kept going back to was relationships. More importantly, my lack thereof.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some lonely, desperate woman sitting at home with her cats collecting newspapers and peeping through her mini blinds as her neighbors enjoy life. I get out there. I interact with people. I SOCIALIZE. Yet, here I find myself alone. Not LONELY, just alone. So I began to seek the advice of what I believed to be male friends. The conversation went a little something like this...Hey you've know me for a few years. What do you think the reason is that I'm not in a relationship, despite wanting to be in one? I consider myself a good person. A hard worker. A team player. One who desires to get along with people. You know, painting myself in a positive light as most people do.

When you open yourself up for critique you had damn well better be prepared for what's getting ready to be said. Sadly, I was not. My first male friend said that I acted to "tough". That perhaps maybe I should act a little more "DITZY"...his words, not mine. That I had this hard core Detroit persona going on. That I was ready to fight at a moments notice.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not me. The person who donates their time to charity. Fights for justice with their union. Loves her children unconditionally. Has fed the entire neighborhood at one time or another. Has let everyone under the sun live with me at one time or another. Not me. He could not possibly mean me.

My second male friend agreed with my tough girl assessment. That I seem to be ready to engage in an argument at a moments notice. I thought, how could he be saying these things. We've never been in an argument. I've never lashed out at him. I couldn't understand what he meant. I began to rewind the many conversations in my mind. Trying  to edit the text in my brain to see where I had accosted him. Where I had attacked his manhood. You know, that thing so many black men hold near and dear. That issue of respect or the lack of. I couldn't think of one thing.

Had I defended myself in heated debate? Of course. Had I made good points in defense of whatever discussion we had going on at the moment. Yes, indeed. Was it that I had an educated conversation or that I could articulate my thoughts? Was it my ability to speak in complete sentences? Damn...what was it? Or more importantly, what is it that makes me..."U-N-D-A-T-A-B-L-E"??? 

Now it was time for the round table of Diva's. I mean where else can you get the truth with love? I began to explain to them what was said to me. One friend thought that I was to independent. That I needed to play a needier role in the relationship. Another girlfriend thought that I should not discuss where I worked or what I did. So that the perspective male companion would not be intimidated by my financial independence. Finally, the voice of reason stepped in. My good friend of 20 plus years. Who's seen me through a marriage,  a divorce and raising kids. Career changes and educational attainments. She told me that nothing these men said to me was true. That I in fact was a "Good Girl" and that God was saving someone special for me. That I had not met the man for whom God had hand picked for me. To stop wasting my precious gift of time with people who were UNWORTHY of it. That any man who was lucky to have me as their companion was..."WINNING".

Somehow that made me feel better. I took solace in the fact that I had done what was expected of me. I took comfort in the truth about who I really was. That I had done right by people. That I had treated others as I so wanted to be treated. So all I can do is sing my song, say my prayer and wait on the Lord.

"God please hear my Call

I am afraid for Me

Love has burned me Raw

I need a Healing

Please, Please, Please."

Blogging

So here I am with all my ideas and opinions. I've taken the next step in the articulation of my thoughts by setting up this blog spot. I hope that it will not offend, but inspire. I hope that this place will be one of profound information. One of great debate and the sharing of knowledge.